|Skeleton sermon -- add your own meat|
1 Now it came to pass in the days of Ahasuerus, (this is Ahasuerus which reigned, from India even unto Ethiopia, over an hundred and seven and twenty provinces:)
2 That in those days, when the king Ahasuerus sat on the throne of his kingdom, which was in Shushan the palace,
3 In the third year of his reign, he made a feast unto all his princes and his servants; the power of Persia and Media, the nobles and princes of the provinces, being before him:
4 When he shewed the riches of his glorious kingdom and the honour of his excellent majesty many days, even an hundred and fourscore days.
5 And when these days were expired, the king made a feast unto all the people that were present in Shushan the palace, both unto great and small, seven days, in the court of the garden of the king’s palace;
6 Where were white, green, and blue, hangings, fastened with cords of fine linen and purple to silver rings and pillars of marble: the beds were of gold and silver, upon a pavement of red, and blue, and white, and black, marble.
7 And they gave them drink in vessels of gold, (the vessels being diverse one from another,) and royal wine in abundance, according to the state of the king.
8 And the drinking was according to the law; none did compel: for so the king had appointed to all the officers of his house, that they should do according to every man’s pleasure.
9 Also Vashti the queen made a feast for the women in the royal house which belonged to king Ahasuerus.
10 On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, and Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven chamberlains that served in the presence of Ahasuerus the king,
11 To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on.
12 But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him.
I'm sure you remember the story of Ahasuerus, the King of Persia which had its name changed to Iran in 1932. This lost King ruled by power, pride, and passion. After the wicked king's army was defeated in a battle, he tried to hide his agony of defeat by throwing a big party for his friend which lasted for six months. He called Nashville and got Johnny Cash, Bocephus, Merle Haggard, and all his rowdy friends to come play for his party. Even Bill Clinton was invited to play his sax which was given to him as a pardon pay off. Anyway, as you know, after awhile, the party started to simmer down. So he says to his drinking buddies (you always have a buddy when your buying) in verses 7 and 8, "Drink up enjoy yourself!"
Well, the party started to get boring so the king decided he needed to liven it up. He decided to call his beautiful, godly wife who was not at the party. According to verse nine she was at an AWANA meeting where the ladies were discussing the new ACE course for the home schooling next year. These ladies were godly -- not the Tammy Faye, Jan Crouch type -- when her drunken husband-king called for her to come to the party. The king knew she was beautiful to behold and he wanted her to pull her clothes off before his drunk buddies. Thank God verse 12 says she refused to degrade herself in that way. I call her SNOW WHITE because she was clean.
Now her husband was embarrassed and mad because she would not come to do his bidding. So according to verse 10 and 11 he sent seven dwarfs, not men. They had to be mighty small to take seven men to get one woman, AMEN? So I began to think how clean she was in keeping herself pure. She is a perfect picture of the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I have seen these same seven fellows in the church, just like the seven dwarf characters. Please see if you don't agree that you might have one or more of these seven dwarfs in your church.
1. Sleepy - Have you ever seen one of these in your church?
2. Dopey - You know the sister that likes diet pills and talks 90 miles and hour. She even shouts a lot and you thought that she was in the Spirit. No, she's just dopey.
3. Bashful - These can never get up to testify or sing. They are just too bashful. I have seen some of these supposedly bashful run all over the community spreading hearsay, even to strangers. They are not bashful, are they?
4. Sneezy - Sick all the time. Family of six has to stay home to blow one kids nose. "Pastor, I have an allergy and I can't come to church. Pray for me." The pastor must be able to have his prayer answered because at 12:30 they are sitting on a creek bank fishing or shopping at Walmart. The pastor must can heal, huh?
5. Doc - Now this has got to be a preacher. Everybody now these days has to be a Doc and they ain't even a practical nurse. Lots of little preachers like myself are just interns cleaning up Doctor's messes. I could say volumes about this on how and why these doctorates are given away. Always just follow the dollar.
YOU CALL ME DOCTOR
The Title "Brother" once I wore
but that can satisfy no more.
Since on my journey up to fame,
they added Reverend to my name.
Right Reverend, Then twas very right,
thrilling my soul with pure delight.
Now they call me Doctor, oh how I love it!!!
No other title is above it!!
Never was I thrilled like this before
I got it a camp meeting and put it on my door.
They added Doctor to my name,
now I know I will never be the same!!
So call me Doctor man Alive,
on my ego I must thrive.
At conventions and camp meetings I will Shine;
Praise the Lord the titles mine!
Once I was humble, now I'm proud,
walking erect with the Doctor crowd.
Surely the world hath need of me;
A man of the cloth with a nice degree!
The Apostle Paul knew no such bliss,
for he never had no title equal to this!
I tell you brother, I'm not the same since
they added doctor to me name.
6. Grumpy - Have you ever met one of these?
7. Happy - This sounds good but lots of folks are only happy when they make other people miserable. Some are happy when they hear trash about others.
Have you ever met any of these dwarfs in your church? I thank GOD from the bottom of my heart that we do still have some Snow White ladies that love God and say no to the world and say Christ is my King.
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